Are You Creating Prison or Paradise?

I was on the phone with a client the other day and we were discussing her dream relationship. 

She described in great detail what she wanted and finally when she was done, in a cynical and diminishing way she wrote off her dream—explaining to me her problems and why those justify the impossibility of her dream.

Rather than focusing on her vision she was lost to her story and the problems of today. Rather than focusing on what she wants she was focused on what she didn't want. 

Finally after realizing what she was doing, she asked me,

"How!? How do I create this?"

I explained to her that the 'how' was not the true issue and that her 'why' is the source of her power to create this dream relationship.

I reminded her whether she tries or not, that she is creating—there's never a moment when she is not creating. 

That she's either creating her own prison by default, which is the reality she is currently experiencing or she is creating consciously with intention and deliberateness the paradise of her dreams.

Many people get wrapped up in solving the problems of today, but the truth is when you get clear on what you want and then choose that, problems and issues don't matter anymore. 

Focusing on problems is means to bypass taking responsibility for what you're creating. 

If you're choosing to create your prison that's totally fine, embrace it, love it, savor it!

If you're choosing to create your paradise that's also totally fine, embrace, love and savor it.

One is no better than another, creation is creation and the true creation is the you that you become along the journey.

Knowing you're going to grow either way, whether through prison or paradise, the true question is, "do you like what you're creating?"

All of creation serves you, so why not create something that brings you joy?

Creation happens in two stages—first in thought and then in form. 

The relationship she desires is already created, it's here, right now!

The question is, does she want it bad enough to change who she is being relative to the people and experiences of her life. 

Is she willing to show up as a her that she's never been? Because once she decides to, her actions will change and so will what she creates. 

Your dream relationship, your dream job, the intimacy, the geography, the money, whatever it is that you desire, it's not outside of you. It is sourced from within and to create it in form you must be willing to change who you're being, which starts with making a fucking choice, even if that choice is to not make a choice!

You have all the resources you could ever need to create anything you could conceive...which doesn't mean shit until you realize that you've been creating by default.

Once you choose to have what you don't have, everything changes, but most especially, you change. 

Ken Fried

Ken Fried is a lifestyle and wellness coach and has been referred to as a Modern Alchemist by many. Ken is fiercely committed to supporting clients around the world to find freedom from their most pressing health challenges by leveraging and aligning with the laws of nature. Every Wednesday he publishes an article on his growing blog about living freely and healing fully. You can learn more about Ken and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at